I tend to be a patient person, well, most of the time I am patient, however most of the time I have noticed that I lose myself to anger. I get angry while stuck in traffic, when others make mistakes, when I make a mistake, working on projects that have no end, and so much more could be added to this list. So while I may not be an angry person all the time I’m subject to bouts of anger, which I don’t prefer. Though it happens to all of us and when we don’t manage those moments carefully it can cause some explosive situations around our families, friends, and co-workers.

When I talk to people or apologize for something I did out of anger there is far higher percentage of people that didn’t even notice that I was angry. That could mean that I am angry far more often than I think, but in actuality most of those that I talk to mention the fact that they never noticed that I was angry. I can bury things deep down if I have to emotionally, however even I am not that good.

Understand Yourself

“Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” Proverbs 16:32

When I am angry that is the moment when I need to tighten the leash around my tongue and spirit, in order that I don’t do something regrettable. I hear a lot of people saying “I didn’t mean that” after an argument with someone. However, they did mean exactly what they said. Words may appear to evaporate into the air as soon as they are said, but you can’t get them back once their gone. In our anger we speak what is on our hearts and minds in that moment, however, when we are slow to anger we can take those thoughts or feelings and understand their meaning before we speak them. I usually am the person who will speak before understanding what was actually said when I am angry and while this used to be okay I know now that every word I say has a far more devastating impact on others than I realize.

The first obstacle to overcome is seeing what I couldn’t. Having to deal with myself each and every day opens up holes in my own views of the things that I do or those habitual acts that have built over time. When I see my anger from the perspective of my wife then I begin to realize that I get angry enough for it to be a noticeable problem. Whether it be exhaustion, frustration, or annoyance the reason doesn’t matter because I shouldn’t be losing my cool as much as I do. There isn’t an excuse. I’ve started to pray a lot more about changing habits and anger issues that I have become acutely aware of in the last year. And I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have been able to deal with them alone. God has been my constant encourager, as well as, my wife to be a better husband.

In dealing with my own anger I had to see it at a distance. It wasn’t until I started seeing my anger from my wife’s point of view that I saw it as a problem. It’s harder to notice the obvious when you’re not staring at it daily.

Deal With It, Don’t Fold

“Know this, my beloved brothers; let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1: 19-20

If you have anger issues then I would recommend that you deal with those issues. Whether it be a stressful work environment or a difficult home life you should deal with it in a constructive way. I’m not in any way saying cut and run on your problems, but actually approach them and deal with them. It doesn’t do anyone any good to bottle up anger until one day it explodes in a rage, nor does it help to go off on anyone and everyone that crosses your path.

If you’re a Christian then I would say take all your cares and worries before God. So when I say, “cast your burdens on Him”, I don’t mean fight the battle alone, but prayerfully ask God to come alongside you and help you through the challenge of dealing with your anger.